Pirates of the Caribbean.

Arr!

Pirates of the Caribbean

So that’s today’s subject. If you don’t like it, you might as well click on the red X at the right top of this page and enter the real world!

The whole trilogy was quite interesting, even though I’ve watched them series a long time ago (I was a fan after “the curse of the back pearl” came out). A few things didn’t match to me, but the positive (as always) comes first. I loved the effects and the costumes. Really, those not dead/not alive skeletons from the first part were great! And the sea/fish people from the second one, also! All the parasites on their faces, the similarities with sharks (especially that hammer shark guy) and other sea animals was unbelievable…and then how Will’s (Orlando Bloom’s character) father was “a part of the ship”. Whoa! Also the final fight between the Flying Dutchman and the Black Pearl in that whirlpool (who Calipso, the sea goddess made) was fantastic! I feel like half of the movie was based on effects.

The actors did their job pretty good, though. I can’t miss my favorite Cap’n Jack Sparrow. Another great character added to the long list of Johnny Depp. Just the talking, the walking, the facials, the clothing…everything was great! Not to mention the humor in the character. “You look familiar – have I threatened you before?” or “My vessel is magnificent, and fierce, and huge-ish, and…gone!” or “Barbossa: There’s my ship, right over there! Jack: I can’t spot it, it must be a tiny little thing hiding behind the pearl…”, and many others. I just can’t help it, but laugh every time. That’s one of the reasons why I’m sorry there’s no more series of the pirates. I want more Jack Sparrow!

Um, Elizabeth (played by Keira Nightly) was a good character. I’m not a fan of Keira, not at all…but I must admit that she played this one good. There’s really not much I can say about her, I liked her, but didn’t love her…and that’s it.

Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) was cool. I don’t find him sexy, as most girls do, and I find his “I don’t wanna be a pirate, so I won’t behave like one and I’ll fight fare” bla-bla crap rather annoying. Because he does what he doesn’t want to do and then whines about it, but ey, he’s a good boy. Not that funny, though…a minus.

And the things I find strange are the following:

  1. How the hell do The Flying Dutchman and The Black Pearl always find each other? I mean, if they’re so legendary, they must cross the seas and oceans of the whole world, right? And since Elizabeth and Will started their journey from England, I wonder how they found the Dutchman in a matter of a day or two. I mean, the water in the world covers more than 75% of  the earth, so it’s kinda strange, don’t you think?
  2. Also, why when the ships meet each other, somebody transfers to the other ship? Elizabeth gets separated from Will (and they’re in love, right? So t’s kind of a bummer), then she returns to the Pearl, but Will goes to the Dutchman, then Jack goes to one of the England’s Navy’s ships, then Will goes there and Jack returns. Then it turns out that Will and Elizabeth are in fact on different sides and they have to kill each other. But then Will is traded for Jack and he’s reunited with his love again. WHAT THE HELL?!
  3. How does the cragon know which ship to attack? If you don’t know what the cragon is…it’s basically Davy Jones’s (the cap’n of the Dutchman) pet. It’s a giant octopus that eats ships. LOL. I actually think that the real world pirates have myths about a creature similar to the cragon! But anyway, is it always following the Dutchman, so it can see the ship it has to eat, or what? Because I saw Davy Jones blowing up his cragon whistle and the next thing you know it was eating the Pearl along with Jack Sparrow. And in fact, the two ships weren’t even close. SO HOW DID THE CRAGON KNEW WHICH SHIP TO ATTACK?!
  4. And last, but not least – the teeth of everyone. Elizabeth, Will and Jack have nice teeth, but EVERYONE else have this rotten…stuff…in their mouths. Even this little boy (no older than 10). That’s impossible and kinda gross. I mean, why would you separate the main characters teeth with the rest. Imagine Elizabeth with a troll set of teeth. Exactly! My point.

And the ending of the 3-rd part just blew me away. It couldn’t be more stupid. Come on, did we really have to go through all these hours, and keep our fingers crossed for the impossible love of Will and Elizabeth, just so everything  can suck big balls in the end? Will became a Cap’n of the flying Dutchman, which means that he can go ashore for a day once in every 10 years and Lizzy can’t go on the ship with him. And he left her the chest with his heart as a memory of him. How sad is that?! And then again, Jack went to look for the fountain of youth (he stole the map from Barbossa) with only a silly little boat, because his Pearl got stolen. I feel sorry for him, man. Really sorry!

And yeah, that was my review on the subject. Hope you like it =)

//Stef – the Pirates of the Caribbean fan!

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