I finally got my hand on the photos.

Good morning, cockmonglers!

So…I got some baby pics of me.

You are most very welcome to have a good laugh, while watching them. So…let’s start with my first picture ever:

😀 *angel*

First off: Ahahahahahahaha. Mom is so fat! No, really, she’s way thinner now. And prettier, for sure. Dad is pretty much the same, I don’t even see any wrinkles or stuff on his face now. I was born in May in that hospital behind my parents. It’s kinda primitive, but it’s ok! I’m fine now. I weighted 3.560 kg and was 51 cm tall. You can’t really see me here, but hey, it’s a special moment anyway!

Aww, pretty ladies!

I have no idea how old I was when this was taken, but it was less than a year. My mom is still fat, but she’s cute here. Little chubby mommy. I have no comment for myself…just OMG :x., but my cousin Miroslava is also lookin’ goood. She’s my aunt’s daughter (my father’s sister). That’s before she had her kid Radoslav. He’s 5 years younger than me, but still knows all the insults. He makes his daddy proud =)

My baby life was so cool. I actually remember parts of it. I remember how grandma carried me on her shoulders, before I could even walk and how I peed on her that one time. I told her that I need to go  to the bathroom (yes, I was taught going to the bathroom, before I turned 1 ), but I guess she couldn’t understand my perfect language, so she said “Yes, yes you are” or something like that, and 15 minutes later she felt my power on her neck. Oops. 😀

I also remember how dad wanted to take a picture of me, but I didn’t want to pose until I find my other boot (I was with one in my hand). I was stumbling through the apartment screaming something no one could understand (apart from me, cause I still remember how strong I wanted that boot) with my dad chasing me with the camera. Finally he caught me and said “Stay still” and the picture was phenomenal. Me crying my lungs out, standing by a short table with a boot in my hand. I’d show it to you, but it’s somewhere in my dad’s records and since my parents are divorced, I can’t really go there every day. But the shot is still existing and I promise to show it to you one day (along with lots of other shots).

crack heads

This image represents the joy in it’s true form. On the left is my cousin Gloria (who’s my age) with me on the right and my other grandma in the middle. Granny looks awful, really! But let’s not look at that. See the goody bags we’re holding? Yes, that’s the reason why we’re so happy. It was a pack full of chocolate and bubble gums. The day was Christmas if I remember right. And the jackets we’re wearing are actually switched. I was in love with Gloria’s jacket and I refused to get out of the house without wearing it, and she didn’t have anything in mind, so we switched.

But let me tell you about me and Gloria. We were the real deal – partners in crime. Always in trouble, always together. I was the master mind, she was my assistant. I remember the game we played that one time “throw eggs at the light bulbs” It was awesome. Mom grounded us for a week. The day after that week, we were playing in the near park garden. Aunt Tanya (Gloria’s mom) was supposed to watch us, but she was cooking (or doing something else), so we were alone. Me and Robin were swinging on the swings really hardcore. And I fell at the highest point (2 meters) my knees and my hands were all bleeding and when I got up, the swing was coming towards me, so I fell again. I was laughing my ass off the whole time and Gloria said “I should try that too”……Then we climbed this very high tree, because there was a tree house on the top. Our clothes ripped off, our faces scratched and our smiles to our ears! I remember that there was no fence and that if one of us fell down, we were going end up dead on the ground of a private garage. And if we somehow manage to survive the fall, we were going to be ripped out by the bulldogs guarding the space below. It was so fun. Also, there was a time when everybody had to go somewhere and we had to stay at home alone. It was winter and a really cold one, the water was frozen and we decided that we’ll go out and break pipes, so that when the water melts, it would water the plants downstairs. A move which also got us grounded. And last for now, but not least, we’ve played multiple times with real scissors. We were great hairstylists.  Not only did we cut our own hair, but we also cut mom’s while she was asleep. That’s why my childhood was mostly spent with my hair short and me looking like a boy.


See, there’s a proof. That’s actually me. Doesn’t look like it, right? But you can see here that mom is now thin 😀 . These were the great sea garden summer years. Grandma was selling all kinds of summer/beach accessories and me & mom went by to visit every once in a while. It was fun, going to the beach, playing with the other kids, riding on the garden’s little train, licking ice creams until you get sick…and more importantly – no school. Eh, it was great!


This picture reminds me of my mom’s company. Not like business company, but like friends. I love every single one of them to the date, I’m telling ya! So my mother’s best friend – Valya is actually Brain’s (Tsvetelina)  mom. She’s older than me, but I remember how I couldn’t wait to see her, so we could play with each other. I don’t know for how long I’ve been knowing her, but she’s probably the first idol I had. And I’m glad we’re still friends. I have loads of stories with the company, almost every meeting is a story, but I’ll tell you one: Mom was teaching me how to say nice words, such as “Thank you; Good morning; You’re welcome” and others. So we’re all walking into a store and Bicho (one of US) buys me and Tsvetelina one of those kinder surprise chocolate eggs and then he asks me “What do you have to say to me now?” and I sit there and try think of an appropriate nice word. “C’mon, tell me!”. You can see that I really was thinking. “Tell me, or I’m taking back the egg”. And now sweat was coming out of my forehead, my teeth are sinking into my lip, I’m making strange faces and try think of the bloody word. I go purple and kind of start to panic. “Okay, give me the egg” and as he reached out for it, I lifted it up and said “GOOD DAY!?”

Have you been nice?

This is my last year of kinder garden life. My fringe is fucked up, because of the hairstylists game I told you about earlier 😀 . I look very “барната” or with other words – official. Don’t know why… But I know what was in that present I got. Barbie’s star kitchen. It’s ironic now, because all of those facebook groups “A women should stay in the kitchen”, but I really liked that present. It had baby chairs for my baby dolls, and I even had a pregnant barbie doll. I wasn’t a maniac, It’s just what I had home. I’d rather go on the street and play with the boys, they were nice. They were also teaching me how to pee in a standing position, but I never actually learned that. Oh, well… The kinder garden, though, was very nice. Maybe except the nap time. I hated it. But the food was good, we learned about stuff and we played all kinds of games. I wish I was a kid again 😦 *sigh*


And this was my first shot. I mean, I’ve never held a camera before that. This is probably around 2-nd grade, but I like it. Nothing special here.


This is Iskra (I thought I’d use her name for a change) with the pets. The fluffy cat was called Toby and he was quite the dude. Always chilled and happy with his life. I loved the way he purred when he was in my bed. Unfortunately, one day he just disappeared 😦 It was a family tragedy. And the little mouses there are dogs. Probably stray ones. A family member saw them all alone and helpless and decided to help them out. We gave them for adoption after they stopped drinking milk.


That’s Ms. Simeonova on our euro trip in 3-rd grade. She’s actually a miss, she’s never been married, but she’s an awesome person and a great musician. A bit crazy, but I guess that’s what it takes to be great. The euro trip itself is something you have to experience. I don’t remember all the counties we’ve been to, it’s been too long, but I remember that we were out of Bulgaria for a month and we visited Russia, Hungary, Germany, Romania, Austria, Italy and others. Umm, when we were in St. Petersburg, we took a boat trip to somewhere I didn’t quite get, but we were with all of our luggage. I thought that we made a “go to a point in the sea and then come back” thing, but we might have landed in Helsinki. I’M NOT SURE, and I’m probably wrong, I’m saying it, because we spent a day there, then took a train and went to another place. And some days ago I saw a shot of a memorial that I’m sure I saw when I was there and it turns out that it’s in Vaasa, Finland, but hell, I really don’t remember if I’ve been there or not. I know the square 100%, I’ve been there, but I just didn’t ask Simeonova to tell me where we was, cause I thought we were still in St. Petersburg. It might have been just a deja vu, I don’t know 😀

And the last picture of the insert: My dad and mom before I ‘ruined’ their lives:

youth of the 80’s

Aren’t they cute? The fashion was awful back then, but eh, it happens. I think here mom is 17 and dad is 19. I only wish I could smile that wide. Isn’t it awesome? I think yes. But now I realize that my grandma was wrong by saying “there are too types of people: pretty and thin”, cause as long as you’re not as anorexic as Misha Barton, you’re looking great! I don’t know what happened between these two. I hope it wasn’t me. But on the other hand I can’t live with both of them under one roof, so thank you very much for that divorce. It would’ve been world war three. Just sayin’.

Well, that was it for today! I hope you enjoyed it. Have a great night/day/ or whatever it is that you’re having, okay? Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I have more pictures and shots and images, but I don’t really know where they are now, so I’ll probably just write another blog post with them included. But It’s not a promise, because what happens if I can’t find them or I’m too lazy to write another 2000 words? Yeah.

And by the way, I encourage you to try this on your blog it’s fun! It reminds you of some stories you’ve been keeping aside in your mind. Not that I got out a million stories or something, but hey…you might! So go for it. =)))

//Stef – Have a splendid thing that you’re having, okay? ^_^


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