What’s wrong with the male part of the world?

Hey blog! What’s up?

Just a brief drift: A random brunette stopped me today on my way to the airport and told me she had just seen 3 green trolls coming out of a mine and in order to destroy them, I must run into a wall. Sounds legit.

But the topic for today is…yes, boys.

WHYYYYYYYYYYYY am I straight?! Just…why? And PLEASE, I know this is being read by at least 5 boys, and can we…not…discuss my opinion on the matter, and the blog post as a whole? Kay, thanks. Not that I mind you telling me what you think, I’m just sick and tired of repeating the same bloody thing over and over again. So here goes.

I am utterly annoyed by some individuals, who think they can get anything and I’m some kind of a trophy. You’d be surprised by the number of “likes” i get. One motherfucker even offered me money to sleep with him. AS IF I’m some kind of a whore. And I’m a fucking proud person, so if guys like that don’t go the hell away from me and don’t stay there, I start acting like a bitch and take precautions for my pride. So, I’m clearing that up – I will not sleep with ANYONE for money. I don’t even know what would make you think of it. Do I look like a prostitute? Don’t answer that.

Then there’s the second type of guys, who act like we’re in kinder garden. “Anonymous: Hey, I like you”. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? I don’t want you telling me facts about my Bulgarian teacher and I don’t want you to send your best friend with a note saying just “only one on my mind”. Man up a bit and come say it to my face, cause I don’t find child plays for romantic.

Third type of guys, the ones, who try to show their soft side, so that I like them better. Don’t get me wrong, I love guys having a soft side and showing their appreciation for the sunrise and the babies and the kittens every once in a while, but please, don’t turn this into the only things you talk to me about, okay? If you ask me, I’d tell you, I like football and hockey and I actually sometimes laugh at those disgusting man jokes about women (and blonds, and ugly wives). I don’t want to be the man in the relationship, if you know what I mean =)

Then, the other guys, the ones, who care what I think SO MUCH that they’re afraid to say what they think, just so they don’t say something wrong and mess things up. The only argument that I can have with those is whether my pimple looks good on my forehead or not. And that’s fucking boring, okay? I like compliments, but try making them special by not saying them every 3 seconds…please?

Then there are they guys, who are my friends. They’re great and I love them, but being their girlfriend would be like killing a koala bear. Totally sad and not in place. I feel for those the most. Cause I actually care for them and I don’t want them to feel like shit. But it’s inevitable sometimes…unfortunately.

And then there’s Soner. And Soner, if you’re reading this right now…what the hell man? Go the fuck away, I told you like a billion times, I do not want to see your penis. Jesus, what kind of weirdos do I keep meeting? SERIOUSLY!

And since a lot of boys and girls are asking me about my opinion on sex, and the perfect relationship as a whole, here’s what I think:

Sex is not something that should be written like S$%d@Q3x, it’s not shameful, like your grandmother taught you. If she’s so pure, then how did your mother/father get on Earth? Exactly my point. I understand why some of the phrases like “fucking, cunt, dick, blowjob” are not being told to children, but I don’t agree with telling them that the stork brought them to the mommies and daddies. I’ve always known where babies come from and I’m proud of my mother for telling me that. I remember, when I was 3 or 4 years old and a little boy (8 or 9) came to play with me and asked me if I know what sex is. Turns out he had a completely different idea of the word’s meaning than I did.

And actually I do think that sex is important to a relationship and I don’t believe in the “save yourself for marriage” crap. You have to know what you’re buying, right? =) And why would you be with someone if you don’t like the sex with him/her? You can just be great friends. And I’m also not for one night stands. I mean, not that I’m against it, but I’d never do it. At least I think so. Sex should be about you and your partner showing your love to one another and it’s great knowing that the person you love, loves you back. There are also some people, who think you should wait 3 months in a relationship to have sex. What? Imagine you love someone so much, you have waited for him/her for YEARS, and he’s finally yours. You can barely stand, when he/she’s hugging you and all you want to do is be with him/her. Are you seriously telling me that you’re going to wait 3 whole months? Really? 1 month is my limit. After you pass that point, you’re just scared and insecure of your partner/abilities. That’s it for me.

And what should the perfect relationship be? Intense. Don’t think of the future, burn hot. It might last only a couple of months, but it has to be remembered for a lifetime. Don’t take someone, who’ll let you do anything you want. Choose the date place together, have your own opinion. Fight every once in a while, be honest, have no secrets. Give each other space, but have some jealousy. Enjoy kissing, don’t do it automatically. Say what you think, think what you say. Be there for him/her, when she/he needs you, but don’t go easy on it. When you get into scandals, be furious, break things…and then go and have the best sex you’ve ever had. Ain’t that right, Yani? 😀 I think…the perfect relationship is…dealing with the other’s flaws, because you can’t imagine the world without him/her. Love the smell, the laugh, the eyes, the teeth, the aura. Be in love. 🙂 And that’s what I think.

I think I have found a boy I like. And it’s pretty fucked up, cause he’s one of the few, who doesn’t notice me. Everybody notices me. They can hate me, have nothing against me or like me. But not him. And I don’t know him that well. But I want to and he won’t let me and that sucks big time. I’m not shy, it’s just as if life doesn’t want him to know me. My name, for god’s sake! It’s not even that strange, it’s the commonest name you’ll ever see. So why won’t he talk to me?! I hate this. I don’t want others to like me. I want 2 things.

  • A gay friend, with whom I can go shopping and do gossip.
  • And him. To at least speak to me.

But that can’t happen, can it? Cause I get the weirdos and he’s just the perfect non-perfect boy in this wide world.

//Stef – well, at least now you know more than you should. Congrats.

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