Ken u imagin, ai laik tu rait laik dis, uen ai wont tu piss somuan off. iT meiks dem tink “ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER! Can you speak it?!”
The past 3 days have been eventful…in a way.
First, I saw Miro (the Eurovision guy) in front of my school building and that was weird. Cause I don’t normally see Wesley Snipes walking around town like a boss. But I did stop and ask what he was doing there and he didn’t tell me, cause it was “confidential”. Yeaaaah. Right. We did sing his song “Avgust e septemvri” outside, though. Well, it was more of him playing the guitar and laughing his ass off, while I was pulling some crazy notes out, pretending to be Freddie Mercury. Anyway, I didn’t quite get the whole Miro thing…I was late for my bus anyway, so 4 minutes later I had to run.
Then I went home and chopped half of my thumb off. Well it wasn’t immediately after I got home…but it was then. I was actually trying to open a jar with peppers. What can I say, I’m no Superman. So I grab the knife and try to stick the sharp part under the cap, so it could get rid of the vacuum, suck some air in and eventually open more easily. And note my stupidity, I actually got the jar in my hand. I pressed too hard with the knife, the jar slipped through aaand the next thing I remember was this awful pain and blood everywhere. I didn’t think it was that serious, but I changed my mind when I touched it and felt like a part of my limb is seconds away from falling. Turns out my nail kept it in place (if I can put it in this way, cause I could definitely wave it around like a red flag all afternoon). My aunt had a cut like this some years ago and she told me she literally glued her tip to the rest of the finger and it got better. Well, you know me…I’m a sucker for bad ideas. WHY would I go to the hospital that’s like 10 steps away from here? It’s just a tiny little cut. I glued it with Loctite. I disinfected it, put some healing powder on top and a sticky patch label to hold it all in place. I think it’s working. I’ll fill you in on that one in a week or two, when I can actually not scream my lungs out in agony every time I touch my thumb. ^^
Then what happened…Ah yeah, I went to Varna Towers mall grand opening. There were famous performers like Lubo from “Te”, Galia from “Karizma” (Miro’s ex duet partner), Miro himself, Orlin Goranov, Krum, Rumuneca & Enchev, this beat boxer, who’s name I always forget and some random opera dudes. The first 2 hours were boring, but then Orlin Goranov came on stage and started getting it on. If he wasn’t having so much fun, I’d probably never start dancing along to the song. But it’s a fact, I did do that. And you know what? I was the only one (out of probably 1000 people), but I loved it. People need to loosen up a bit. Anyway, since I was the only moving figure in the crowd (and I was in 1-st line), I wasn’t hard to spot. So by the end of his performance, we were basically singing to each other (ofc, with only his voice being heard). A guy in a suit came and said he was security and I should go with him. Haha, AS IF I’d miss the party. Turns out he wanted me to go on stage with Orlin and so I did, cause I didn’t give a fuck. I danced for 30 seconds with Mr. Goranov, he was really happy that someone still remembers his songs (:D My mom loves him to bits, though) and yeah…I embarassed myself enough and I got off of the stage. Then there was the beat boxer, for whom I felt really bad, cause he asked “Do you want me to leave?!”, hoping that we would applause and beg him to stay, but there was only silence and this one dude who screamed “HAHAHA, YEAH, GO AWAY!”…rough.
At 22:00, THE Rumuneca & Enchev came on stage, the crowd was going nuts and they asked “do we have single boys here?!” and one of all those, who raised their hands, was invited on stage and was given a 3 minute lap dance by 3 strippers. They took his clothes off and he didn’t know where he is at that point. In the end Enchev went to him and asked “You have only your boxers on, right? Now, do those boxers have pockets, where you can hide your weed and cell phone, or are you just happy to see those girls?!” 😀 He had a pocket…as strange as it sounds. Anyway, then for the next song they asked if there were single ladies and me and Coci raised our hands (along with probably the whole female part of the mall), but again…we were in first line, so…they picked me and said “Come here! Come, come, don’t be shy.”. I wasn’t shy at all, but Coci thought they were talking about her and since she was having the most awful day ever, I decided to make room for her and give her my place. But they didn’t give up on me. They said to her “Oh you wanna come too? Oh, this is going to be interesting! Come both of you.” And we did, they took us to this place backstage and there was this soundtrack that was like…imitating kisses and moans, as if we’re having sex in the back (i know, what?). And then they brought us back and Enchev asked me “So how was it?!” and I said “Well…I don’t want to upset you, but it was too short” and he said “Cheeky, aren’t we? You Varna girls always want more! I’ve just beaten my record here! I haven’t done this so good, since I was in high school!”…well, my friend, it takes practice. Ahahaha. At the end I went backstage to congratulate Miro, Rumuneca & Enchev, Lubo and Orlin, cause the rest I can’t stand. But those I mentioned were really nice. :} Surprisingly nice, indeed.
And when I went home all I wanted to do is SLEEP, but noooo, I had a whole notebook to copy. I started at 01:00 am and finished at 4. I got up for school at 6 and I had an F in maths on a material I haven’t been in class to learn, to begin with…I don’t want to talk about this bitch teacher, but she’s always trying to make my life like hers…smelly and shitty. She SCREAMED to the whole class how stupid I am and how she’d never met a person more stupid than me and how she could ask a stranger from the street to come and solve this and he’d do 400 times better than me AND she called Victor, the person I hate the most from my class and she know it, to fix my problems. Well, fuck you, Kirilova, I suppose you don’t remember just a week ago, when you returned my exam with the highest score in school. Or maybe when I was the only one with an A for the end of the year…two years in a row. I hate you. Always have, always will. You ruined my fucking day, thank you.
The rest of Friday I spent in the restaurant, where I was peeling eggplants and pepper all day long.
That was it. Thank you for your time, bye!
//Stef – Pissed off about maths.