Hey there, humans!
How’s you today? 😛
So, I’m sorry that this blog post has to be this sad, but I was just amazed by how bad things can get in less than 24 hours. Here’s some pre-history for you.
3 years ago my aunt Lora (my moms’ sister, one of two) got together with this completely random guy, named Kuncho. He was great! He was talking to me, to my grandma, he was bringing sweets for dinner and was smiling and all…we all liked him. Anyway, he had sex with my aunt (like normal people do) and she got pregnant. To be honest, it was her time, she was 27 years old! But he didn’t seem to agree. He told her to remove the baby, because they weren’t ready for it.
Having our full family support, my aunt told him that he is free to go, with no strings attached, he can go and live his life somewhere else, but she wants to be a mom and she’s gonna keep the baby. Apparently that wasn’t the answer he was hoping for. They got into a huge fight, my other aunt called randomly during it. He grabbed the phone from Lora’s hands and called my aunt (the mother of Alex and Gabi, my wonderful young cousins) a whore and my grandma a cunt, and he told her that he’d hunt our whole family and kill us one by one (including me and my mom). Nobody calls my aunt a whore, OR my grandma a cunt. That’s a huge mistake! My mom called the police immediately after Mina (the “whore” aunt) called her to see what will go further. The cops got in the house, where the fight was, only to find Lora lying on the floor unconscious with blood all over her stomach and a baseball bat sitting next to her. This was terrifying, but we somehow got a restraining order for him. In the hospital the doctors said that the baby was okay, but she’s going to have a difficult pregnancy…and she was only 4 weeks in the process. After 6 long months, Kuncho came to her doorstep begging her to forgive him, for he didn’t know what he was doing. Being stupid enough, she let him in and he decided that he would do a nursery for the baby, expected to be born in 2 months. And what did he do? He moved almost all furniture into weird places, like corridors and bathroom, when I got there, I couldn’t walk normally, I had to curve myself so I don’t get stabbed by a night stand or run into a closet. He claimed that this was temporary until he figured what to do with all of the furniture. Well, he didn’t figure it out for 2 months and 2 days before Lora went into labour, she had to move a 93 kg. wooden closet (and other heavy furniture/machines like the fridge and the washing machine) all by herself, when she was supposed to be in bed and not even get up to go to the toilet, cause that’s how rough her pregnancy was. Kuncho? He was busy playing cards in the local tavern. After the baby (Kaloyan) was born, he had to stay a month and a half with us, until Kuncho’s sorry ass decided that it’s time to fix the apartment.
After 2 more months, something else happened, I don’t quite remember what, but he beat the shit out of her AGAIN and she left him for good.
And today, with Kaloyan learning to speak and understanding everything that’s happening around him, Kuncho went to Lora’s house to pay his visit to his son. I didn’t quite understand what happened, but I got that he said me, my mom and my other aunt (Mina) are whores and she’s going to become one of us, so she should be beaten up in advance, just for the sake of it…in front of Kaloyan. The poor little kid cried his eyes out, screaming “mommy” and apparently that set Kuncho even more on fire, cause now both Lora and Kaloyan are in the hospital. Lora has a broken nose, brain concussion, broken finger (from trying to keep the asshole away and defend Kaloyan), two black eyes and a missing tooth. Kaloyan has a broken arm…at the age of 1 and a half.
The thing tha terrifies me is not that this happened (although, this is pretty scary)…it’s the fact that no one was surprised. My mom just said “men are men” and she left me in shock. I don’t think real men are doing this to their women…to any women. When I asked her why does she put up with this, she said “You can’t find a men, who won’t ever hit you. They want your soul on a plate, so they can step on it and trow it out. They don’t want a wife, they want a slave. And we shouldn’t be complaining, because if we do, they will find us and beat us again…maybe even kill us.” I honestly cried at this point, because this means that my mother has been hit before. The thought of someone hurting her is just awful and I don’t even want to imagine it.
But I don’t think that there aren’t men, who wouldn’t hit you. What is happening here is NOT right. We’re not as strong as men, we can’t defend ourselves properly. I’ve been hit by a guy before…when I spoke up my mind, he took my breath away with a kick in the stomach. And it’s not only this case, I’ve been hit a lot of times by classmates. But I’ve always thought that it’s because of the age, that they will learn in time, that they will grow up. Today I realized that this is not quite like that. They will try and be like their fathers, who often beat their wifes. It’s sad. But what if you choose the right man? The one who’ll love you? My mom said “All of those beaten women thought that they had found the right guy for them. Not one of them had a doubt.” She’s fucking right!
But I’m not willing to let someone treat me like shit. And you know what? I think this is happening mostly just in Bulgaria. Men think “Bitches need to be punished” and even though we have organisations against that, most women are afraid to contact anyone, cause the minute they do, the problem becomes public…and they don’t want that.
I never liked bulgarian men…beating their chest, screaming “This is my homeland, I’m a warrior”. If you’re a man, you’d go and fight with someone your own size and strength.
I’m now almost positive that I want nothing to do with bulgarian men…other than being friends with them. What they’d been taught does not go along with me. I’m a normal girl and I don’t want to end up like my aunt…hurt. I’ll travel the world, meet new cultures, laugh with someone else. I don’t want to stay here in this place, where everything is messed up to the point where it’s starting to look like a parody reality show. Home will always be home and I will love and treasure it with all my heart, but staying here? No, thanks.
//Stef – extremely shocked and disappointed.