Answering a good question:

Hey, everyone!

So I got asked by a really sweet Hungarian girl the following question:

  I remember your post where you wrote about Bulgarian men, how violent they are. Is that really true? Because it sounded to be very creepy…How would you describe Bulgarian people, or the country?

Yes, I remember that post, too! I was very upset about what had happened to my aunt. I do believe that bulgarian men are violent and aggressive, BUT you should take two things under consideration – first, I can’t put ALL bulgarian men in the same bag, some of them are real sweethearts and don’t feel the need to prove themselves physically, and second – I seem to notice a change in the behaviour of my generation and the one before us. Boys my age are learning to appreciate women and are taught good manners and I’m pleased to say that I’ve been handled with great care by the masculine part of the society I live in.

My male friends open doors for me, offer me their seats or their coats, let me walk before them, hold the door for me, give me compliments, hug me gently, apologize for everything they do to me if it was not intentional and so on… They’re starting to figure out where they stand and what they should do. I must admit, it brings me pleasure seeing this happen AND I’m always “chuffed to bits”, when I notice a gentleman’s gesture directed towards me. It’s a big turn on and I believe guys enjoy being polite just as much as ladies do.

I still wouldn’t marry a bulgarian, though I should never say never, but these are my intentions. It’s a long, long topic, but let’s just say that I’m not into bulgarian guys. The ones I like are not acting bulgarian at all (they mostly share my opinion and can’t wait to get out of the country).

Bulgarian people as a whole are very strange. They are reserved and don’t like new things, so they are weary of newcomers and can be a bit grumpy. But a friend of a friend is always their friend as well, and once you win them over, they’re yours for life. They are very welcoming people, always have a room for one more at the table, you wouldn’t be disappointed with the food either, cause we know how to cook damn well. (and in big quantities if there’s a grandmother in the house) 😀 We are very traditional people, we insist on keeping the bulgarian culture alive and we do amazingly stupid things just for the sake of it, cause someone else did it in 12-th century. We sing at both funerals and weddings (the songs are of course different, but yeah…), we take music very seriously and we love to sing. We can take a joke and usually we kid ourselves with irony and sarcasm, so most people think we’re insulting ourselves, which is sometimes true, but not always (like that time, when we sent Krasi Avramov on Eurovision and we still make jokes both in real life and tv about it, we made it clear that we don’t like him, we can at least have a laugh, right?). Bulgarians are also either extremely open-minded or very conservative with almost no one in between. Be that as it may, friendship is VERY treasured here…perhaps more than love. We have the bad habit of speaking bad stuff about each other as a nation and blame everything on the government, when really, we suck at being united and it’s all our fault, not just 1 person.

And at last – the country. It’s a beautiful place to come and visit for say…a month. We have both sea resorts (such as my home town Varna and the surrounding areas that are no more than 40 minutes away from the city) and mountain resorts (Bansko, Borovec, Pamporovo and so on…), where you could go on a ski adventure during the winter, it’s amazing! As a former member of the traveling association, I can say that I’ve travelled a lot in my country and I’ve seen a lot of cultural memorials, resorts, waterfalls, lakes and other views that can just take your breath away. I think Bulgaria is an extraordinary country with spectacular sights, I even think that it’s the most beautiful place in the Balkans and it’s definitely worth a visit. Unfortunately, we have poor management and our politic sucks big time and therefore, we have a lot of problems, which results in people being depressed a lot and not enjoying the environment around them. I wouldn’t live in Bulgaria, not because of what it is now (although, I must admit, I don’t like it and it plays a big part of why I want to leave), mostly it’s because I want to see the world and try something different.

So there you go, Tünde, I hope this answers your question! 😀

//Stef – goodbye for today, lovelies!

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31 comments

  1. Yes Bulgarian men are very violant and aggressive I paid a bulgarian man a lot of money he worked for me putting up cctv’s and burglar alarms plus did fencing for me he charged me quite a lot of money and did not even finish the job as he went onto to do another job – I was angry. Must say at this stage he was ok in talking politely to me.
    I did not want to talk to this con man again but my daughter invited him to her house to put some lighting as he is a electrician unfortunately I was in the house when he came to do lighting I remember joking with him and my god he turned into a psychotic man ready to fight with me I was like shaking and he would have strangled me or hit me had my daugher not opened the door I got saved by my daughtr when she opened the door – he did not do anything.
    Even I believe Bulgarian men are very violant and aggresseive

  2. wow, that seems harsh. Did you contact someone?

  3. No I did not contact anyone I am very frightened of this man if I did contact anyone he knows where I live. I heard very interesting stories about him from another bulgarian man who says
    this electrician has wives and girl-friends all over the place (God help them) I wonder how he
    treated them like.

    Ariana

  4. oh, that sounds bad. I don’t think he’s agressive all the time, though. Maybe towards a special person, or maybe something bad is happening to him and he’s angry.

    Either way, don’t keep in touch with him! ;D

  5. Caroline · ·

    Ladies…what I read here are only things wich.. true I never not saw in Bulgarian men.
    I’m Argentine 27 years old women who live in Bulgaria already 5 years.
    In all those 5 years I can say much about Bulgarian mens at all..as my husband now, with who I’m married already 3 years.

    Whatever I will write, for you ladies will looks like ”impossible” because you already have bad expirience. But ok..lets see what I can share from my expirience. I will write few things from every aspect, about the Bulgarian mens who are very known for me.

    Bulgarian men are dressed MUCH better than American mens and they (Bulgarian mens) are one of the best dressed mens in Europe…also they are the mens wich stay longest time frontside the mirror, in Europe. You can get this as negative or positive thing..it’s your choise..just lets write few more things.
    They like their half to respect them and for them..to be ‘the head in the family” is the normal thing. When is about girl friend…he is the boss. For he would be shame if he not pay the cost in the resturant (if you not allow to he pay). One real Bulgarian men..for example lets say if he spent all of his money – if that, he will not go outside with you until his pocket get ”fat” or ”normal” again. They like to give gifts just cause they want make u smile. I’m not ”golddigger” but this is one of the things wich are in the nature of one Bulgarian. They are gentle not only with their halfs..they are gentle with every women in public places too. The FAKT that 80% of the female tourist from everywhere in the whole world who find their half in their holiday and go right in Bulgarian Black sea coast its not just ”accidental”..it’s not just ”fortuity”.

    Bulgarian mens are ”Alpha” type and tottally diferent than the mens in almost all other countries but don’t mean that they are ”agressive”. Yes they practise strength sports from when they get into 5-6 years old, this make them disciplined and hard natured but this is other topic wich not make me interested in it and you too, I guess.
    When you are with Bulgarian men, you should respect him as you respect yourself. To call frontside his face, to not respect him, to think that you can control him as your kid (How really many American/European women do to their mens) and many more things wich can make one Bulgarian men to look at you like ”nothing” ..are not welcome near one Bulgarian. As Argentine women who know really many European and American women and mens from many countries..I can tell you that I know how 90% of the American women treat their mens and how 90% of European women from other countries treat their mens too.
    One American women (European one too) treat every men as how she treat the mens in their country. When this happen with Bulgatian men – this is one of the bigest mistake. And then begin – Bulgarian men are agressive, Bulgarian mens are animals, Bulgarian mens take my money…
    When you ladies write this..did you ask yourself what ”men” you found and what are your own oppurnities as a women if talk about ”what men you can found…and after to ”catch” him”? Of course everywhere have good and bad persons..BUT, Did you ask yourself ”what make him agressive?” Did you look around for something wich you say or do and make him ”agressive”? (or even your aunt or friend or whoever)

    As real women, for you wouldn’t be hard to found real men, right? Again I will write it.. ”as a real women”. Well, what you found and got? What it mean, ladies? I know many womens who thinking that they can have every men ONLY because they are women. In one basic logic I can say – What you are > This you get.
    If you are girl/women who think that with one one clicking of fingers and you will get what you want – Bulgarian men is not for you.

    The diference between one American, Western European and Eastern European (Bulgarian) IS that with the 1st two ”options” you get whatever you want in the moment when you wish it (doesnt matter you deserve it or not) and in the 2nd one ”option” is that you will NOT recieve anything if you not deserve it and about this, one Bulgarian men is like ”radar”.
    Obedient man or man who gives you something if you deserve it – you choose…depends what kind of girl/women you are. Yes..its hard, but with the men who gives you something if you only deserve it (I not mean ”material” things all time..I mean much more things wich every women need), you should be really good and almost perfect lady, right? 😦 . For sorry..for many girls/womens this is really hard and to they don’t do anything but to get everything is most good.
    Right for me, I prefer to be ”most good” in the eyes of my men and believe me, I eel myself one of the happies women on the earth when I see what I get and how he is with me.
    This is expirience from ex boyfriends and from my husband too.
    I am married with Bulgarian men already 3 years. We have one awesome princess who is 2 years old and I still not saw, got or heard anything bad and negative from my men. I also know many others too…

    So, before to be with some kind of men, diferent than the ones in your country…ask yourself ”he is for me or not?” or other more important question ”I am for him or not?”. Because you can say many bad things about Bulgarian men cause your bad expirience or opinions of somebody others about them, but if should find mistake in yourself – will be hard to do it, right?

    I wish you all best and do every step of your life very smart.

  6. Hey! I didn’t say that ALL Bulgarian men are like that, but I’m not speaking false stuff here. Bulgarian men ARE agressive. Whatever the reason, you should NEVER EVER hit your women…not even verbally abuse her. And this is VERY common here. OF COURSE, there are good men, as well, my classmates are real gentlemen and I like them all.

    But do you know why my aunt has been abused so many times? Cause she got pregnant and didn’t want to make an abortion.

    Every women in my family has been hit by a man. And my friends moms, too. It’s not nice, but that’s the statistics. The ugly truth. Bulgarian men are not so hard to handle, if they really love you and you love them. But you know, some girls don’t want to be bossed around. I’m not saying that women want to be the head of the family, but they do want some quality, which bulgarian men seldomly give out.

  7. Caroline · ·

    Stefani, I’m so sorry for your aunt and the friend of your aunt.
    Maybe when I talk about Bulgarian men, for you or for other maybe sounds like I ”protect” them because my husband is Bulgarian, but no.. it’s not like that. However I’m a foreigner and nothing can’t stop me to say something negative if I have what to say.
    When something like this happened to your aunt..it’s normal you to feel her sadness too but believe me..this cannot be reason to say that Bulgarian men ”are” agressive, and becayse own problems of your aunt..to make many other foreign womens to have bad opinion about the Bulgarian mens. I write you all this with respect and dont take it as dispute or insulting.
    You wrote ”classmate”, right? Well, I guess that you are student. I would tell you something, dear..

    I began to contact with mens 1st when I was 16 years old. From 16 years old to now, for all years I cross the world and I had many many relationships in countries like America, Canada, Brasil, Spain, Italy, Germany, China and Bulgaria.
    I can tell you also that mens from all those countries hitted me few times. Some hitted me…some not hitted me never. They are ”mens”, understand? To write ”the husband of my aunt is agressive and hitted her” or ”the husbands of my aunt’s friends hitted them” is right. But to say ”Bulgarian men ARE agressive” is tottally wrong. Its sunds like they are agressive at all wich is tottally wrong. Noone nation not have agressive mens at all. How I wrote..in all countries wich I wrote I were hitted. Well, I have to say ”80% of the male population in the world ARE agressive” ? Of course no.

    I am women with big relations in almost whole world and have more than 30-40 couple in wich the one half is Bulgarian men and all of them are the most happiest couples wich I ever seen. I also read alot positive comments about them and I also see them everyday.
    Bulgarian mens ARE NOT agressive, as American ones ARE NOT, as Chinese ones ARE NOT and ect. and ect. Just in Bulgaria as ALL OTHER countries have agressive mens.

    About what you wrote, like ”And this is VERY common here” – I know many Bulgarian women too and I know what ”womens” they are and if few of them were hitted..I’m not surprised really.

    As I said, everywhere have bad and good people. Not have countries with agressive mens and countries with calm mens.

    And what I wrote about them in my 1st post, I brave would say that there I not say nothing wrong and all things are true.

    I wish you big luck and oppurnities in your life, I wish you to get mature year after year and to learn about the like much possible. I’m subscribed here and if you need advice about anything – feel free just to write here and I will reply you. Good luck I wish you, be smart.

  8. Hi again, Caroline!

    Very nice arguments! 🙂
    I just want to say that my aunt has nothing to do with my opinion on bg men, she was just the reason for which I said what I think. I’m not that close to her, so I don’t care about her that much (as harsh as it sounds), so I’m taking this statistically.

    I’ve almost finished high school and these are my observations. Bulgarian men can be very nice and gentle, but they have something in them that’s kind of scary (I’m not talking about my generation), believe me, I know what I’m talking about, I grew up with it. And I should point out again, that I’m not talking about ALL bulgarian men, but I’m summing it up.

    TO ME personally, our men are slightly more prone to join a fight, than the men in some other countries.

    I should also say, though, that withing 50 years all of this will be history. Not only do we have more women protecting organizations, but we’re also in tune with what’s happening in the world, today’s kids know a whole lot more than the kids in the 70’s and the modern thinking has already penetrated their minds, for which I’m very glad. The general thinking is begining to change to the better and this is very, very good!

  9. mimimi1234567@abv.bg · ·

    Hi Stefani!

    I’m glad that we can share few nice opinions and expirience as well.
    About Bulgarian mens and their ”feelings” for the fight…trully I felt something like this in many Bulgarian who are my friends and in my husband too.
    I should tell you that in the years from when I am here..I’m not done only like ”Catched men, we made kid and married”. For me was big adventure to understand and know the people in Bulgaria and really have one ”agressive” treats in Bulgarian mens. I learned the history too and in other countries as the Bulgarian mens by themselves..says that just this is part of the Balkan nature. Long centuries many conflicts, wars and something like 90% of WHOLE Bulgarian history from when they origin (came from the East) .. 90% of whole history is not was ”life”…it was ”surviving”, i.e the mens living on the war front with their gun and knife along years, before to back to home again (if back).
    Of course this is long past but this now also ”have hand” in the nature of one Bulgarian men, nevermind how they changing cause the diferent way of lifes.

    Right in my family and in the families of my female friends who are married with Bulgarians…sure this ”agressive” treats are very useful. For example..if I were marry with men from another country, my kids wouldn’t be disciplined as how are now…very hard nature. If I were marry with men from another country…I will not feel that much that beside me have ”Alpha” men.
    Also..about the agression and fight..you are little right, yes. But I felt this when someone want to be close to me..when someone unknown person is near our princess, he (my husband) become like… like ”tiger who is ready to kill only because want to protect the people who he loves” .. things like this. Of course he not fight with people.. haha.. Just feel in him agression wich he use to put in the peoples respect when he feel that me and our daighter can be unsecured.

    Everywhere have diferent peoples as I said many times and I gues you are agree. And to tell you…the men with who I am now is the best ”MEN” who I ever have chance to have.

    Good luck, Stefani!

  10. Thanks for the comment!

    Good luck to you, too! 🙂

  11. exBulgarian · ·

    “My male friends open doors for me, offer me their seats or their coats, let me walk before them, hold the door for me, give me compliments, hug me gently, apologize for everything they do to me if it was not intentional and so on…”

    Urm…. how that makes you equal to males?!?! Do they do these things to other males, or just to females? Gender stereotypes are well alive in the remote backwards country of Bulgaria.

  12. exBulgarian · ·

    have ”Alpha” men.

    Alpha men? Hahahaha, they might be pumped up with muscles, and stereotypical male behavior, but they are just insecure pricks. Most of them are actually secretly gay/bisexual in denial.

  13. sorry but i am seperated from A bulgarian man, let me tell you they are gross all of them.I am american woman. they all cheat, they all will find anyway to avoid working to make money, the men dont mind u dress like a slut.but thats as modern as they are….. dont marry one please and yes they are violant…….. i know about 100 bulgarian men they are allthis way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  14. You must have found something in them if you’ve been with a Bulgarian man.
    It’s ignorant of you to put them all in the same basket, some of them are real sweethearts 🙂

  15. I’m an English man and I had the pleasure of meeting a beautiful young Bulgarian woman in the Netherlands, she often spoke of how violent and controlling men were back in Bulgaria much to my dismay!…… Problem is I have fallen for this woman in a big way and have suggested she came to England but I believe she is to return back to Bulgaria……. Any traditions or tips to win her over???

  16. Erm…I don’t know what to say, every woman is different, I think even though she is Bulgarian and wants to come back (or does she?), if she really likes you, she would consider coming to England. Discuss the matter privately with her and see where things go! 🙂

    Good luck.

  17. In our discussions I made no secret of my admiration for her, I think her main worry about England was finding a job but on the other hand she tells me how poor Bulgaria is and she doesn’t know if she can handle going back…… I guess what will be….. Will be at the end of the day…. I just think she is a real sweat heart!…. And thank you 🙂

  18. Heya Steff!
    Just read this, and am very thankful for what you have written. It has opened my eyes as a single 30 somthin single dad here in the USA. Take care and God Bless you 🙂

  19. Hey Stefani,
    I just stumbled on your blog and read this post. It was really interesting. I’d never met any Bulgarian men until recently. They are all extremely friendly. I am interested in one of them and am wondering if Bulgarians are generally flirty?

  20. you could say that they are…if they’re interested.

  21. Hi ladies. I know this old, but I’m desperate. I got involved with a Bulgarian man and the first week he treated me like a princess. I’m a single mom and he said if I needed anything I shouldn’t worry, that I should just ask him. He even gave me money when I didn’t ask for it. But lately he just gets so angry. I’ve noticed he has a very short temper. He never wants to talk and is always too busy. I haven’t heard from him in 2 days because he’s told me he can’t talk and that he’ll call me. I do tend to nag but this time I’ve just left him. After reading your comments I realise he is different. How can I reach out to him without making him more angry. Its been over a month. I miss him 😦

  22. Didn’t say ALL are like that. 🙂 And hah, glad that you have such a nice friend!

  23. You write wll Stefani and I ant to follow your blog!

  24. Ok I have no idea how I ended up here. First I need to state that I am a bulgarian lady and I haven’t lived in Bulgaria since I was a child so I never experienced the years of economic desparation a struggle. Having said that I am sure that these kind of exleriences change a person and I assume that is what happened with a lot of people. I have generaly noticed that I can’t find anything in common with Bulgarians I have met trough my life out of the country. But I can tell you one thing, there is not a single man from my family or other Bulgarian families I know that seems remotely violent in any way. My dad is a sweetheart and so is my brother. The rest I have met could be very sarcastic, jaded and brash particularly if then feel treatned or peeved by the fact that you might be doing better in the world. Nothing makes a bulgarian man more anoyed than another bulgarian doing better than him. My advice to any non bulgarian woman involved with a bulgarian bloke…beware of the baggage …..beware of guys who have no university education ( in bulgaria the rate of university educated people is incredibly high, to have no education is a warning sign you might be in looserville). Also bulgarian guys are rather conservative, and they prefer the kind of girl they can take to their mommas house. My hubby is not bulgarian as one might be able to guess and I love how uncomplicated he is.

  25. I am dating a very successful, very conservative Bulgarian man. We met at work (I’m an RN, he’s a doctor). We talked casually for over a year (at work only). Then people at work started talking about us. He has always been generally curt and short with everyone at work except me. When he found out about the “talking” he suggested that we go out on a date, since they were all trying to “set us up.” I genuinely like him very much, more in fact. However, he works a ridiculous amount of hours. That being said, he is somewhat distant. We have been together for several months now and I know he cares. We text a lot and he says some very sweet things. However, I just don’t know what to do. I’ve tried talking to him about emotions, etc. But he seems so unemotional. he never says how he feels. I don’t want to insult him in any way but “pushing things”, but I want more. I want him to grab my hand and tell me he cares too, but that doesn’t happen. I feel it may be cultural. If it is, and I just don’t understand, I want to do the right things. With his very high conservative ways, I never know what to think. I want to know he cares. He has said he does, but I don’t see him showing it much. What do I do?

  26. By the way, I could never, ever, in a million years fathom him being anything but kind. He is very kind. He is NOT aggressive, he is a very nice guy.

  27. Answering a good question: | Stefani’s Blog

  28. Стефани Кирилова за какво говориш , бе, момиче? Аз съм българка. Българските мъже много си позволяват, ама българските жени хич не им цепят басма. Те само си въобръзява, че са мачовци и се опитват, разбира се, да ти се наложат, но българската жена не е слаба жена. Тя веднага слага българина на мястото му. Виждала съм много момчета, които са бито от момичета и аз лично съм била момчета в училище. Българските мъже са за българските жени. В Аржентина и Латинска Америка жените са слаби, те са много по-слаби от българката.

    A Bulgarian likes to think of himself as a macho. He likes to play a macho, he likes to believe he is in charge of the family, but you should ask the bulgarian woman who is in charge because it is her the alpha dog. The Bulgarian woman believes she have to do everything in the house and this is very funny because Bulgarian women have been always working. So, like I said they are strong women. Any little thing concerning the family is up to her. This gives her a lot of power and men are considered not serious, so the women don’t wait on them. We have this: a Bulgarian girl can do anything – she works, she is able to look after herself perfectly. On the other hand, Bulgarian men can’t look after themselves very often. And he is still playing like he is the head of the family which makes his children laugh at him behind his back. A lot of children fear they mom not their dad. They know very well who is the serious one they can count on (their mom). They know that their dads are just an air under pressure. Mother figure is strong, father figure is weak. The Bulgarian women are not afraid of their men, they know how to put them in their place easily. I admit it is really very strange, it looks like women in Bulgaria are slaves to their men and you will be dead of surprise when you see how she has it her way eventually. When I am talking with my friends, also Bulgarians, about this, I like to say that the Bulgarian woman is a strange kind of woman. She is under his control and the controlling one in mean time. I am a Bulgarian woman, I am 32 years old but I never seem to understand her. In fact, there are some Bulgarians who are rude and aggressive, mostly simple men, and they are to be avoided. Really. Just be careful. They are easy to be recognized, this type of Bulgarians. We are direct people, we don’t have political correctness and you can say what you like. You will alway hear Bulgarian men saying that the place of a woman is in home and in the kitchen. Then you just ask them “Does your mom work?”, because the answer is “Yes, she does”. And afterwards you say “All Bulgarian women have been working since 1944. So, where did you see this then?”. It is a very amusing situation this one. I promise you, you will have the time of your life when you say this. Be strong if you are going to live with a Bulgarian. And if he hits you, you hit him.They are always struggling to keep the illusion they are alpha dogs, they are always trying to take over but they never win. I want to see how a Bulgarian man will try to control me, oh I would love to. No respect for a man who does not respect you. Make them understand.

  29. Hi, after reading this remarkable article i am as well happy to share my familiarity here with friends.

  30. Hi there im a filipina, i really like my bulgarian friend he so nice and decent and have very good sense of humor i love to talk to him time to time were chatting every day 5 days already..

  31. Hi ladies!!! Wow your post + comments are giving me an amazing insight before I land in Bulgaria. I’ll be investigating Bulgarian men & culture for my YouTube channel where I produce fun videos on men from different cultures! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9UW9W6GOZGk3nMrHqe-znA I’d love to get your feedback once I’ll produce my Bulgarian men video!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ By the way if anyone of you will be in Bansko please let me know I could maybe interview you for my project!!!

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