Or the so called first day of school.
Okay, first of all, I want to say that my school is super nice. SMALL, in comparison to the bulgarian schools, but so high-tech and modern that it wins everything.
The teachers are really nice, but the students…hmmm. They were nice, but so bloody silent, I was isolated for 99% of the time. Nobody would talk to me and it was WEIRD. YFU warned me about this and told me that I should make the first move and talk to them, but it’s so hard. They’re all in groups and if you get near someone they look at you as if you’re about to kill them.
It was awkward to say the least. I knew there were other exchange students in the school, so I was just scanning the big hall and all of a sudden I saw this asian looking girl and got excited that she’s an exchange student, so I went to her and asked her if she’s on exchange here and she said no…and then I said the most racist thing ever – “But…you’re asian.” Immediately after those words came out of my mouth, I wanted to take them back, but instead I just awkwardly stepped back and watched her friends judging me so hard! ;D
And my class is so…silent. Only 1 girl dared to speak to me, Petra – who by the way seems really nice! But everyone else were like not even acknowledging the fact that I was in the room. Not that I should be treated differently or something, but they were talking to each other and I was just….being there. And also, the whole time from 9 am to 1 pm, everything was in Finnish, and nobody would explain to me what’s going on, so every time the students stood up, it was a shock for me. People were randomly talking on the speakers, coming and going, standing and sitting. Just…there were a lot of unjustified actions, if you know what I mean.
I can’t say that the day was bad, but I can’t say it was good either. It was plain weird. But I’m sure that every other day will be better than the previous one. As I was walking home from school, I was listening to One Republic – Marching on and it got me thinking.
Just because today wasn’t as good as I expected, doesn’t mean that those people are boring, or that Finland is not for me, or that I should continue with my non-active attitude towards the students. I remember what Buryan told me yesterday – “Ти си в нова страна с нов език и нов манталитет. Стани нов човек.” And I very much like that sentence. It means “You’re in a different country with a new language and new mentality. Be a new person.” I should stop worrying about what people think about me and just go for it – that’s the key for a great exchange year! And if something doesn’t work out the way I want it to, hey, that’s life. Just keep marching on, no matter what. Everything is going to be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end, right?
And by the way, today I aaaaalmost got home on foot, I’m very proud of myself. Almost, because äiti picked me up one bus stop before our house, but at least I learned the way to school almost on my own. So that’s a good thing! 🙂
And tomorrow, my lovelies, is Keskiviikko and I have Finnish as a first course. ;D Wish me good luck, looks like I’ll need it!
//Stef – vaihto-oppilas