Monday has passed and it’s been enough time for the memories to sink into my brain. It really was awful. Buuut, on the bright side (speaking like a true 65 year old Endora, Iowa citizen), the last 2 days were quite okay. Maybe not good, but at least not bad! I understood some things in math class, the lunch was okay, I spoke with a reasonable amount of people and basically…everything is okay.
Everyone’s been asking me how Finland has been so far and I often get annoyed by the question, because they can see, for the most part, what I’m doing. It’s great, what can I say? Sometimes I feel left out, when they start talking in Finnish to each other, other times I’m proud that I can understand them and there are even cases, when I want to talk to certain people, but my attention is being occupied by others. And that’s how it goes. The people here are friendly, though only few try to really get to know me. It’s because no one is interested in knowing something about ME, rather than the fact that I’m an exchange student, therefore I must not have an identity. I mean, sure they ask me questions and they WANT to know the answers, but it’s always something like “Why Finland? Is it cool to be an exchange student? How did your parents let you come here? Isn’t school hard in Finnish, when you don’t understand anything?” and so on…Of course, it’s okay to answer these questions and I’m glad that people are wondering, but at the same time I bet that almost no one knows what kind of music I listen to, or what my interests are or anything that separates me from the others. At one point, we all just stand there and got nothing to say, so we just get silent and think about what’s appropriate to say :D. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want the whole school to know me as a person, I’m just stating that most people don’t really care about me, but the fact that I’m an exchange student. It’s okaaaaay, I guess! I don’t try to know other people, either. I should, though. Cause with some, I like them, but I have nothing to say, cause you know…there’s only so much small talk one can do. Maybe it’s time to start asking questions? It’s gonna be weird at first if I start with some really personal ones, but I won’t! And everyone has to like me, I got that “like” factor. Don’t I? Never answer this question! School will be great tomorrow, at least I hope so!
And also, I don’t know if I have mentioned Alex in my blog before? The guy I used to like for 6 years? I just thought of him today! I don’t know why…I remembered, when I accidentally saw him 3 months ago in the center of Varna, playing on his guitar…my heart still skips a beat, when I see him! ❤ And the only thing I know about him now is that he’s studying at the national gymnasium of humanitarian sciences and arts, which is pretty close to where I live (I mean, back in bg), but I’ve never seen him around. Ahh, the good “Dimcho Debelyanov” years! We all remember the piercing green glance of Mrs. Pancheva and how we used to pee in our pants every time she said our name <3! And yeah, Alex was 2 years older than me, so he was in the upper grade (since I went to school one year earlier) and I joined the student council just because he was there. It sucked a lot, but I mean, 3 years of staying after school and doing crappy tasks was totally worth it for this guy. I remember getting his phone number from I don’t even know where and I used to send him sweet messages and he would freak out, cause he didn’t know who it was 😀 Haha! But he never knew…I was so shy around him, not to mention that he was walking around with the school’s slut. Okay, she was really pretty, but so, so, so slutty… well, anyway, I got a little carried away! My point is that Alex is still pretty awesome and will always be, even if he becomes a bold drunk guy with a beer belly and smelly armpits.
And now I’m watching what’s happening at my old school! I can’t say that I’m sorry I’m not there, but I kinda miss the teachers almost killing us for not wearing the school uniform (which I also miss, btw, that’s so weird, it’s the ugliest thing you’ve ever seen). Nothing new, nothing new. But they miss me. Which feels good, cause I don’t miss them and now I can feel like a boss. And yeah, that’s pretty much it!
By the way, today on my way back from school, just 100 meters away from my house, this really sweet old lady started talking to me. I tried to explain that I don’t speak Finnish that well, I was saying “en puhu suomea” at least a couple of times, but I guess she didn’t really understand, because she kept on talking. I understood that there was something about the bushes and the young people, then she showed me where she lives and told me that it’s hard to take care of the flowers and she seemed quite sad and lonely, so I sat on these stairs with her and just listened to her talking. I was nodding and saying things like “totta kai, kyllä, niin, joo” and similar to these, so she feels like I’m listening to her (which I was!). She told me that some people are in her apartment, changing the pipes and she’s really worried about that, or at least I think so. She kept on going for probably half an hour about her life and fears and I couldn’t understand most of what she said, but I think I helped her at least a little bit by just sitting next to her. In the end, she broke down crying and I have no idea why! I hugged her and spoke in bulgarian, cause she wasn’t listening to me anyway, so I didn’t think it was necessary to speak English or Finnish. But I told her that whatever she’s going through, she’s gonna be fine and things will go well. Even if she didn’t understand the exact words, she kinda calmed herself down and understood that I said something nice. She’s a nice lady! When I got home and told that to my host mom, she told me that the lady is kinda deaf and can’t hear me, but she’s lonely and talks to people. Apparently, everyone knows her! Well, I hope everything goes well with her apartment and the pipes…
Now I’m going to retreat and watch “How the universe works” or “How it’s made” or “Ultimate survival” , or “Through the worm hole with Morgan Freeman” ,or “Mutant planet” or whatever other documentary is on currently. My eternal love for Discovery channel (all branches) and Animal planet will never die. Okay, bye!
//Stef – Kaikki menee hyvin!