I just realized…

I’m full of so much crap!

This might be boring for some of you…

I talked about friends with a person today and I said so much bullshit. I mean, I do believe in what I said, but it is so wrong in a way… I don’t have that radical beliefs. And I do have Bulgarian friends that I love. And I can even say why, but it doesn’t come easily if I’m not thinking about it. Let’s try for a bit.

Yani – We’re 300 km apart. We’ve been best friends for 5 years. She’s my conscious and my advice box and the good girl in me. She would always point out what’s wrong in the picture, I would turn my head sideways and say “My god, you’re right!”. She knows me the best (together with Gergana), she knows what I would do in any given situation, which is creepy. She texts me before I do something stupid saying “don’t” and she’s always right. We stopped being funny long time ago, we’re on a whole different level of soul connection. If it even makes sense. I can immediately sense if something is wrong with her, as well as she can do that with me. And we support each other. Always. Never had a real fight. And we see each other for real at least twice a year (usually once I go to her place and in summer she comes for some days for wild parties with me and the gang. :D). I do love her.

Gergana – the dumbass. She is still learning how to walk. She makes my brain hurt at times. But she knows I actually love her. I always say how retarded she is and how she can’t do a single thing right, but deep deep inside she knows. She’s ALWAYS late, always at the wrong place in the wrong day, always something misunderstood. But you know, we have lost our breath together many times. We practically live together. She’s up for all the crazy shit that come up to my mind (including going to the graveyard at 2 am and drink beer…because we can). Get lost in a city we know nothing of at 10 pm and find our way to the bu station at 6 am (and have a whole set of adventures with random people meanwhile)? No problem. A photo session on the beach with Lion King costumes? Why not! Make lists of every…single…thing under the sun? Sure. Also, I would say she sucks at giving advice. “Hey, this sounds like a plan *worst idea ever*, what do you think?” “Yeaaaaaaah, looks good, you should do it!”. Over the years, we’ve grown to know mutual people, even though we’ve never gone to the same school. Now she’s the source of everything I want to know about Varna. Who’s dating who, what parties are going on, what clothes are on sale and where, etc. But at the same time, she’s the worst metal fan I know. She wakes me up with Norwegian death. She wants to set a church on fire…Children of Boddom is one of her favorite bands…what’s up with that? And she’s always hating on everyone (except me, ofc). Me: “She looks nice!” Her: “She’s fat as fuck and her legs are so messed up, if she started to walk towards Holland in a straight line, she’d end up in Ukraine”. Ba dum tssss.

Ivana – She hates everything I love. She listens to chalga for Christ’s sake!!! And she’s a bitch to most of the people for most of the time. But we live in a perfect symbiosis. She’s been the one I’ve sat next to, all through out high school, we’ve had our share of fun PLENTY of times. My notebooks will always have the drawings we used to make of ourselves and laugh out LOUD during a really important lesson. Oh, how many times we’ve been kicked out of class and how many times we’ve saved each other’s asses…Teachers have tried to break us apart, but we always end up together. Laughing. Again. As usual. Every time I think of her, I remember how I have to lift my butt a bit, so she could put her leg under it and get to this really weird position on the desk, where everything is better. Even though she knows nothing of English or any other part of real world (such as internet comics, music or movies), we STILL seem to find common interests and be friends. She’s one of the people that I really, really, really like. And it has never been a secret. Us together, bitching about other ‘hoes is just priceless to see, mainly because what we do is come up with witty and smart insults and keep a teacher tongue slips journal. She is awesome. And I’m glad I know her. My school life would have been painful without her.

Rumen – He’s easy to communicate with. He’s smart, he’s funny, he’s everything I look for in a friend. And he laughs at my Chuck Norris jokes…he genuinely does. And he knows his movies. And science. He has NEVER been a good student. Not in high school anyway (when we met). But he’s one of the smartest people I know. And he’s fun to talk to. And he makes me laugh a lot by just being there. His movements are hyperactive. Teachers hate on him always for talking in class, playing cards, listening to music, solving crosswords, sleeping…doing anything else, but focusing on the material. We love him. He is the closest to complete awesomeness that my school will ever get to. Every time the teacher says “Rumen..oral examination.” “What did I do now?” and the fun starts…I’m so very sorry that I didn’t tape any of those happenings, it is truly hilarious – just the person he is. “Techer, could you repeat your sentence? By the time you reached the end if it, I forgot the beginning!” – his ultimate phrase! And not to mention that during camps he’s just unbelievably hammered and such cool stuff come out of his mouth….I like him. He’s my friend.

rumen i ivana

Tsvetelina – Well, I’ve known her all my life. She was my first idol. By being 4 years older than me, I’ve always looked up to her as a role model and always loved her. For all those years of friendship, I don’t remember a single fight. That’s 16 and a half years of awesomeness. She showed me the music, she started taking me to concerts, she showed me the internet and the movies. She IS my hero.  And even though now I have my own identity and stuff, I will always feel like a smaller version of her. And I’ve cried 2 times for her. Once, when she turned 18 and I thought she wouldn’t want to hang out with me anymore, cause I was a stupid 14 year old teenager with no life and she had friends and all that. Wrong, she took me everywhere with her! 😀 Never had a New Year without her, btw, this is going to be a first! And the second time I cried for her was on her graduation day…cause she got accepted to study in England and she had to leave. And they grow up so fast, don’t they? 😦 Now she’s in her 2-nd year of college and last year I saw her a total of 2 times, the second one hours before I left for Finland. Distance is a bitch. But she’s the only person that I know will never leave me, nor will I leave her, cause it’s like the sister bond…you can’t just break it. Our moms have been best friends for ages, we’d die before getting in a fight or forgetting about each other. So yeah…

So, I wouldn’t say that I don’t love anyone and I don’t consider people as friends, cause I do. Obviously. I’m not as bad as I say I am (and then there’s also Maria, my super hot friend from Sliven and Rado, the ultimate Poets of the Fall and Lady Gaga fan…but I’m too lazy to do the characteristics now :D). And in Finland I got even more friends. How lovely?!

//Stef – good night…at 7:15 am. New record.


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