Hey, life is busy…

Yep…

It’s been a long time, I don’t even have time to breathe.

So, the news in a nutshell – my mom got back from Dubai 15 days ago, I turned 18 – 6 days ago, There was a huge voting thing going on on 12-th of May and I was involved, LOTS and LOTS of shopping, I got new glasses and I had my graduation (different from prom), passed my driving theory test with no errors and I have my driving exam tomorrow.

Does it seem like much? Cause to me it seems very hectic. I’ve completely fucked up my sleeping pattern, I’m not eating properly and I’m semi-depressed about shit that I can’t control.

I’m supposed to get some money from the voting, but it wasn’t worth it. We elected a new government here in the shitty Bulgaria. I was one of those people, who makes sure that everything goes smoothly, checks people’s IDs and writes them in this big ass list. It started at 6 am and it finished at 20.00, BUT that way only half-way for me, cause I had to count the votes with a few other people and then go to the palace of culture and sports (right next to my school) to give out this BIG deformed bag filled with votes. We waited in line for more than 7 hours and then no one even got me home. 6 am, still dark… I grabbed a cab with some guy, but that’s not the point. And I couldn’t even sleep, cause I had to go to the doctor at 7.30 and then I had to order my glasses…and I had a double driving lesson in this shitty condition. Everything was just peachy! I went to bed at 17.00 pm after 35 hours of sleep deprivation and I slept until the morning. That’s how I roll.

I also had a birthday “party” with Bicho, Tenyo and “aunt” Valya, who are my mother’s friends. You may say that this shit is weird, but I really like those people, I’ve known them for my whole life and it’s like I’m their child, as well. We see each other almost every day and I couldn’t think of anyone better to spend the evening with, than them (well, in Bulgaria anyway). Stuff got really sentimental at one point, after a bit too much wine and whatnot… Bearing in mind that Tsvetelina (Brain/aunt Valya’s daughter) is already in England, she got really super, mega sad that I’ll be leaving too, and there will be no one left for her here in Bulgaria. By sad, I mean – she started hugging me like there’s no tomorrow, eyes tearing up and she kept saying how gorgeous I am. My mom also started to do random stuff like getting all the family jewels out and trying to give everything to me, it was so weird. The whole situation was so BITTER, I can’t explain it. It’s like you’re dying and your family is mourning, but they smile at you, cause “you’re gonna be in a better place”, but you see how hard it is for them to let go.

I’m also not made of stone, I didn’t cry, but I got very emotional. I’m aware that no one will give me their full support like those people do. I’m going to a place, which is familiar and nice, but completely out of my comfort zone. People have different mentalities and I know that they will try to help, but the warm embrace will be missing somehow. Ugh. Yeah, I’m a bit frightened of going back to Finland, even though I want it with all my heart.

Joonatan also sent me this little countdown he had made for my return, it was so sweet. I know he misses me the most, I can’t wait to see him. He’ll start insulting me and he’ll be mean, but I know that what’s in his heart is completely different, cause I’ve seen it. My lovely brother! 🙂 Of course, I miss everyone else, as well, I’m really torn between two worlds, so to speak. Finland is better, but more complicated. Bulgaria is bad, but so simple and wild, spontaneous even. I don’t know…

Enough of this, I still have things to say. So I had my graduation. Here are a few pictures from then:

DSC01084

IMGP2817

Yeah, that’s enough… I don’t really like taking pictures of myself. I have a few more on my computer, cause my mom and aunt Valya didn’t stop takin snaps. Alrighty. So that’s gone, no more school. Can’t say that I feel bad about that.

Few hours after the graduation, me and my classmates went to a night club, which was a bit horrendous. Not for everyone, of course. Everyone had loads of fun, they got drunk and danced and were happy and everything. I don’t know why I was in such a shitty mood, I only had 50 grams of vodka with orange juice, wasn’t drunk to say the least. Everyone were coming up to me asking why am I not dancing. If I feel like dancing, I will dance.

IMG_0914IMG_0923IMG_0935IMG_0939IMG_0941IMG_0942IMG_0943So I didn’t dance that much. I felt like crap all night long. Low self-esteem can really be a bitch. I don’t even want to go through all the thoughts that hit me.

So here’s a picture of my new glasses:

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Peace out!

//Stef

 

 

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