Soundtrack of my life vol.4

Hey, everyone!

I can’t believe that this is the 4-th year in a row, in which I’m doing the Soundtrack thingy. It’s really fun to see how I have changed over the years and what has influenced my music taste. I have certainly gathered some memories and I have even changed as a person. If you would like to see the other “Soundtrack of my life” posts, just look them up from the search bar.

Ok, so off we go. After spending New Year’s with my mom’s friends and with her being gone, I realized that those people are like family to me. Or even better. I chose them over a lot of parties that I could have gone to, because I wanted to feel like home and they know how to bring out the best in me. I love them. They knew I was feeling sad, because I couldn’t go to Finland for New Year’s and all of my friends were sending me whatsapp messages full of pictures showing me how much fun they are having. It was bittersweet, because they still remembered me and they wanted to make me feel as a part of the party, but it just didn’t work. But I spent my evening singing Disney songs with the most awesome bulgarians on the planet, so that balanced it out. I don’t remember much of January, except that it was very dull and gray. I must have listened to some hell of a lot Imagine Dragons, which marks to my transition to a modern music lover (not that I don’t love my rock). The song I chose for this month is Demons. It has a personal meaning to me, I can relate. I can feel every sound ringing in my head and I like the way it calms me down (even though it’s not that calm, but yeah… :D)

February…February was nice somehow. Nothing special happened, but I was in a good place. I remember making videos for my own entertainment, it felt satisfying. I discovered a lot of people, who work with YouTube (I was a YouTube freak before, as well, but now I’m like 10 miles deeper into it.) I got somehow inspired by some content creators, it was amazing to see how their lives were (and still are) changing so rapidly. They gained so much experience in so little time and they were truly having fun. It kind of got me thinking – what the hell am I doing, why is it not something that I enjoy? I’ve always been interested in Filmmaking and by this point, Joel is probably sick and tired of listening to me complain about how wrongly everything is going for me. Sorry, Joel. But yeah, the song for this month is Macklemore – Can’t hold us. I don’t usually like rap, but I find Macklemore to be extremely creative, original, hip and a huge role model for a lot of young people out there. He’s one of the few rappers, who has my respect. His music is really good, catchy tunes and meanings to think about. If you haven’t listened to his album, I would recommend it. 🙂 “Wings”, “Make the money”, “Irish celebration” and “Same love” are just a few of his greatest songs….love him!

During March I was mainly focused on my studies. I had 3 more months before graduation and the matriculation exams were just around the corner. Bulgarian literature…I’ve read everything so many times and made so many analysis that I don’t want to hear about it anymore. I’m somehow grateful that I won’t have to ever go through this again. I was also very stressed about applying to University, since it was really important for me to get accepted and be with my friends again. I wasn’t trying to get to Finland JUST because of my friends, but let’s say that I was happy there once, so I wanted to go back. I discovered Hoodie Allen, thanks to Alfie Deyes , which was an accident. I watched one of his videos, which featured “Feel the love”, which is also a cover/twist/remake of Rudimental’s “Feel the love”, but we’ll get to that later. So my song for March is Hoodie Allen’s “Feel the love”

April. Well, that was a chilled month. I had a lot of free time. I went to Sofia to have my univeristy entry exam, which went a lot better than expected. I met Yani, who’s been a friend of mine, since I was 13. Unfortunately, we haven’t been seeing each other that much, since we live so far away from each other, but I’m glad I have her in my life. And it was good to see her, too! I also remember my last moments with Lilly – the 42 year old woman, who was holding the cafeteria at our school. I grew so, so, so close to her during my senior year, it’s unbelievable. From just a woman, from whom I used to buy my coffee, she turned into a friend. That’s what happens after you spend so many hours in the cafeteria talking with classmates and not studying in the classroom…but yeah, it’s a weird friendship we had. I’m sad to leave her behind…but that’s life. And during all my free time in April, I basically drove a car and listened to music. And I listened to A LOT of music, it was great! My most vivid track is Rudimental’s “Waiting all night”. How can Ella have such a hypnotizing voice? It’s not fair!!!

Here comes May! May was a REALLY hectic month. From my birthday, through graduation, matriculation exams, prom, driving license exam to leaving for Finland. I had no time to breathe. My mom came back from Dubai for my graduation. I hadn’t seen her in maybe a bit less than a year and I really missed her. I remember her face, when I went  to get her from the station at 3am in the morning – she was so happy to see me. We didn’t go to bed at all that night. We talked and talked and talked! I can never understand the people, who don’t love their mothers. I’d die for mine. Anyway, I was feeling really insecure about myself (well, that’s the norm, but this month was more than usual), I didn’t want to put any dresses on, because I was afraid of how I would look in them, all of my classmates were just gorgeous and so beautiful and then there’s me. I was so uncomfortable in my skin…which resulted in a breakdown an hour before my graduation. I looked good, everybody said so, but I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t want to go out of the house, but I kind of had to. Then I saw all the pictures and I looked worse than I had ever expected and I am wondering how people can be such douchebags and tell me good things just so I shut up. But anyway, enough about that. I also failed my first driving exam, because there was a fallen Stop sign hidden in the bushes. I didn’t do anything but cry in my bed and eat my mom’s cooking for a week. Thankfully, I got past the second exam and prom went rather well. I still had some left-over female depression (lol) and I discovered Bastille and I’ve been loving them so much ever since! They have good music. Yet, their ultimate song is “No angels” and here it is:

Anyway,  June was pretty dope! I saw ALL of my friends in Finland, I had such a great time, we were going out, drinking, it was awesome to not have a curfew and being able to drink as much as you want without anyone bothering you. I remember 1 night, I went to a bar with Joel’s brother Otto and we were drinking until 3 am or something and I hadn’t even thought of how am I going to go home (the bar was in Tapiola and I had to get to Matinkylä). I had the most uncomfortable shoes on, my feet were bleeding, I was drunk and a fox was following me for most of the journey. I took a leap of faith and walked to the Länsiväylä (a big highway sort of thing) in the hope that the last night bus hasn’t passed yet and I wouldn’t have to walk the last 4 km. But nope, I had to walk. At some point the pain became so bad that I just took the shoes off and walked barefooted. I don’t know…I know it’s not a good situation, but I have it as a good memory. It took me 2 hours to get home, which gave me a lot of time to be with myself. And since I was drunk, I wasn’t feeling the outside factors such as coldness or fear, and the little voice inside my head, which says “you’re stupid, how can you think that?” was gone, so I was feeling so free. Best night evaaa. 😀 And during that time I had with myself, I listened to D.A.D, which is a long forgotten love of mine. Their music is awesome. And “Laugh and a half” is the one song that I REALLY love. Back to the 80’s… I don’t know why I don’t listen to that band more often. Denmark, I am seriously impressed by your talent.

July was a bit shitty. I mean, it wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t good, either. But I met Luca – this really great Hungarian girl, we used to work together. I loved every moment with her, cause she could understand me so well. We were having a really good time at work. I was also attending some parties, though what sucked was the fact that I could never stay there for too long, since work always started at 6.00 am, which sucked a lot. I also had a bit of a problem with my host mom. Well, not a problem, but let’s say that I couldn’t understand what she wanted from me and she couldn’t understand that I can’t read minds and yeah. 😀  The song at I’ve been jamming to is “la La La”by Naughty Boy ft Sam Smith. Why? Because why not? I was alone for most of the time and I needed to find something that I liked to keep me occupied. And there it is.

August. Sun. Friends. Univerity…and moving out. I really liked August. I felt good. I feel really nice during the summer, usually. Especially in Finland, where it’s so light for most of the time and it’s warm and the music is good. I had a Star Wars marathon with Joel, which was great! I don’t want to be mean, but friends, who haven’t seen Star Wars – friendship over. 😀 But yeah, we started out with Start Wars (or no, was it X-men in June?) and we went through the Matrix, as well. And now new things are coming up. Watching movies is the best. But I was also going to a lot of parties and I was living the life. Noora came back from the US, hadn’t seen her in like a year and 2 months, she hasn’t changed at all! Then uni started and we had some fun kick-off days, I met so many new people. The tutors (Alex, Felipe, Nicco, Aino, Nata…the list goes on and on) and the first year students, many of which are my friends now (Fanny, Meri, Quan, Kaelan, Marco, Tony, Igor…). I felt like I fit in well. And the song of the month is The White Panda – Midnight life

September. So. Many. Parties. It was really quite a lot for me to take in. First, there was the opening of Werket – our own little university club, which was jam packed, it was really cool! Then there was the kick-off party, then some freshmen challenges, then we had the sitz, then we had housewarming parties for half of the school and then there was Stockholm… + the parties from outside of school that I’ve attended. Yup. This is all I remember, folks. Things got a bit crazy there. Not saying that I didn’t like it, though. September was one of the best months of the year. And I had already moved to Kirkkonummi with Salla and Sami for a month, until I could move into my own place in Helsinki. They’re such lovely people, they call me their princess and they do things for me and sometimes I feel really guilty for taking so much of their time and I am eternally grateful to them for helping me out so much, when I didn’t have a place to stay. And the track is called “C’mon Talk”, I find it very catchy and this one man band thing seems to be working really well, I like it! 🙂

October. Let’s see… Something happened in October, one could say that I almost don’t remember anything, cause it went by so fast! We had our exams and there were a few parties, I started working more, met a few new people, who I find really nice and just had a blast. I started thinking about traveling again, I really want to go to Ibiza, Amsterdam, Kenya and maybe Rio. Or the whole world in general, I want to travel. I’ve been listening to a lot of old school rock and a little bit of 70’s music mixed with country, which makes me happy, cause this is my core music and I have been discovering new music for the past few months, so it was nice singing along to something I already know for a change. My pick for the month is Heart of Gold by Johnny Cash.

And finally – November! In the beginning of the month I went to Stockholm again, but this time it was with Joel and Johanna. We watched Imagine Dragons live and circled around the city for 2 days, it was a nice experience overall. I loved the concert, the band has such nice energy and spirit. And our hotel room was dope, too. For the rest of the month (so far), nothing has been happening, really. I went to a few parties again (surprise, surprise, uni student) and I discovered that I love my university so much that I would rather spend time there with my friends, when I have nothing to do, than go home and be by myself. Sigh. The song for this month is The Boxer by Simon & Garfunkel, cause I really like it. There isn’t actually a particular reason for this choice. But it’s a cool song, so…

Yes, this is it for this year! I’ll see what I can do for the next one.

Take care, pals!

//Stef

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