As a continuation to my post “You Know You are Turning Finnish, when:”, I decided to make a post about all the swedish-speaking Finns out there. Having been around them for over 2,5 years, I have come to some basic facts about them. Now, before anyone shreds me to pieces, because you might get offended, I just want to put it here as a huge DISCLOSURE that I love Swedish-speaking people and this is meant as more of a funny pass-the-time type of post and I have not intended to offend anybody. Okay? Okay. With that being said, let’s get into it.
1. Din Pappa Betalar. Daddy owns a decent-sized company and takes care of the little princesses out there! So true, it hurts.
2. You are a Hanken wannabe. That’s right! You wear a nice well ironed business suit to a friendly movie night with friends and you have a huge “passion” for finance. Definitely a finlandssvensk. Gant for the boys and white converse for the girls are a must!
3. You have 73 mutual friends with another finlandssvensk who lives on the other end of the country that you have never met before.
4. You know all the lyrics to “Sommartider”.
5. You like to spend most of your summer months sailing on your yacht/boat and sipping on old wine and chaviar. Worst case scenario, you are definitely present at the regatta in Hanko and you get shitfaced for sure.
6. When in Helsinki, you tend to use English as the main language of communication with other Finnish people.
7.You start doing snus. ALL. THE. TIME.
8. You go abroad AT LEAST twice a year!!! You’ve most probably been to Italy 5 times already.
9. Big part of your university life are the sitzes you attend and you know all the songs by heart. You carry along your little song book and other people draw dicks and hearts on it.
10. You hate it, when people say you are usually richer than the rest of the Finns, so you lock yourself in your mansion and cry with your golf clubs and your outdoor pool.
11. There is like 50% chance that you come from Grani.
12. You’ve either went to Vasa Övningsskola, Mattlidens gymnasium, that high school in Töölö, Brändö or in Grankulla. It’s just how it is.
13. Just gonna say PAMPAS! You are a sworn fan of Pampas Nationaldag and you would never miss it for anything! Also, you understand their funny accent.
14. You have a bank account in Aktia. ‘Nuff said.
15. You go to all the parties in Casa and Werket (in Helsinki). You speak only Swedish and maybe try to get with a few really drunk exchange students.
16. You’re beginning to understand how people your age have grown up with “Sås och Kopp”…
17. You use three languages on daily basis. It’s mitt elämä, bro. Expressions such as “Jätte kiva!” and “Are you comming med oss?” are no big deal.
18. If you happen to have to go to the army, there is no place like Dragsvik for you! Poor lads.
19. It took you a while to realize that Ekenäs and Tammisaari are the same city, cause none of your finlandssvensk friends ever call it by its Finnish name.
20. If you go to a store and you decide you don’t want to buy an item you’ve already picked up, you leave it laying around somewhere randomly instead of returning it to the shelf, cause “that’s what other people get paid to do.”
21. Karis is like northern Paris for all of you, it takes a special kind of preparation before you go there.
22. You’re in love with the Grilli kiosk in Vallila that stays open until 5am and feeds your drunk ass with Krapularuoka on your way back to Majstranden. God bless those poor asian ladies who work their asses off every friday and saturday, so you can get your ‘rilli lautanen. Some great friendships have sprouted at that very spot, while queueing for hours to get food.
23. Coming up with a random great story to share on Jodel and watch your karma go up and then comparing it with your friends’ scores. Also making sure that there is absolutely no Finnish on that platform cause “this is one of the few great things we have as a finlandssvensk society”.
24. Go to Hanken every Friday, cause it’s pizza Friday and their food is effin fab and you have no self-control. Also u hope to randomly see Nalle walking by. Prolly not, but still.
25. Glöggrundan! Who knew everyone liked glögg so much. You go to Turku to party and you meet people you didn’t even remember you used to know. Literally everyone is there!
26. “Oh shit, you look fucked up. Are you okay?” -“Yeah, I’m just from Borgå”
27. I think it’s fair to say you’ve taught yourself to chug down all disgusting liquor native to your culture – brännvin, schnaps, punsch etc. Gag reflex is under control.
28. You notice how people from Åland are generally always one level more wasted than you are. They’ve been drinking so much for so long that it’s left a permanent speech impediment on them. It’s not an accent and they need help.
29. Årsfester and their afterparties are an old tradition that calls for dressing up fancy AF! But let’s be honest, being classy isn’t exactly your forté, so you get absolutely wrecked and next thing you know, you’re wearing a colorful hobo outfit and someone is shoving bacon and brännvin down your throat at the silliz. Good times. Palju and bastu afterwards to regain consciousness.
30. Finlandsvenskar – bättre folk! You don’t wait for any queues, you get better healthcare and considering your size (6% of Finalnd’s population), you make up more than 20% of Finland’s budget.
There you have it! I was also gonna include the Kräftis, but nowadays loads of Finns have it, as well, so I thought I’d skip it… And again, have in mind that this is just for fun! 😉
And on that note – vi ses snart igen! 😛
P.S – yep, I updated this shit, you keep amazing me.