Last few weeks have been really strange for me.
As most of you know, I’m pretty damn social, I think I know quite many people and I’m fairly easy to talk to.
Anyway, recently I’ve been getting a lot of comments on my looks, which I think is weird. I’ve never been the girl, who gets all the guys or someone who thinks super highly of themselves (not to be confused with having no self-confidence), nor have I had a reason to be that person. I used to get compliments every now and then, I know I’m not ugly or anything, but lately it’s been completely different.
I don’t know if it’s the videos or just the new people or the way I put my lipstick or what, but compliments have been raining on me like never before. Gay women, lots of guys, my family and friends…everyone! I’m a bit confused as to what is going on.
I’ve heard on multiple occasions people who I don’t even know commenting on how good I look and I’m always so flattered, it’s crazy!
I will be lying if I say I don’t like the attention, I think everyone will smile if someone tells them they’re beautiful. But I’ve always thought of myself as a person just like…your mom, for example. You don’t just sit there for hours admiring your own mom’s beauty, that’s just…no. I see myself the way my friends see myself – not faceless, but my looks are rather concealed by my personality, cause they don’t hang out with my selfie 24/7. Does it make sense?
Sure I’ve got kickass boobs and an okay-looking face, but I don’t look at myself in the mirror every morning thinking what a catch I am. I’m waaaaaaaaaaaay more proud of my personality. If I would be as confident with my looks as I am with my character, I don’t think there would be a more arrogant person than me. Which is why I’m kind of humbled by those people’s compliments. You have no idea how often I think that how I look like is not enough. I think about my skin, hair, weight, whatever on daily basis and I try to make myself think that it doesn’t matter and that people will like me for who I am.
Guess that’s not true and people just think I’m hot, which is ofc nice, but it also means that if I wouldn’t be hot, they wouldn’t like to get to know me and that kinda sucks, cause I get better the more you speak to me. We live in a superficial world, friends. I’m also a big part of it all. I currently have a crush on someone and I’m too afraid to say it, not because he might not like me, but because he might only like me for my looks, which is scary. How in the world would I be able to get away from the stigma that “hot chicks” are for one time consumption? I hate even the thought of someone not wanting to get to know me and I’m not even THAT attractive, so I honestly feel sorry for the drop-dead-gorgeous girls out there.
Aaanyway, thanks for all of your kind words and support in one way or another, I love talking to all of you and I know that most of you actually know me, which is great! It feels strange to write a post about something like this, but I was all out of ideas, so oh well.
Also I hadn’t done a post in over a month, so I thought I had to write about SOMETHING.
//Stef – have a good one.