Once upon a time I messed up again today.

Lemme tell you guys a few stories!

Story 1: Once upon a time I had a project in calculating financial data and it all went to shit, cause I’m a lazy mofo that procrastinates till the very last day and I spent 9 hours in school today trying to sort my life out by staring at an excel sheet and feeling dumber than a first grader.

Tell me, is it possible to actually become dumber at the age of 20? Or is it just this course that makes the prospect of a career in stripping (an otherwise atrocious idea for all other peeps involved) kinda tempting? I’m in the mood for quitting modern life and becoming a nun, but I know I gotta stay in school, so I could provide for my future cat. It isn’t easy sometimes.

Story 2: Once upon a time I was drunk again last week and have been AGAIN sending some weird shit to people I haven’t seen in ages. My choir teacher from 7th grade, for example…I’ve sent her a video of me having an absolute blast singing along to “Traktor Alban” by Sås o Kopp. She doesn’t even speak swedish???

2016-03-05 11.05.05 2

U know, I really love drunk me, but she’s not the most trustworthy person I know. I really don’t trust her and neither should you. No one is safe, not even you guy from the grocery store I met 3 years ago! I don’t know what it is about alcohol, it makes me think that I’m the most interesting person you’ve ever met in your life and I just HAVE TO show you what I’m up to…

Story 3: I started taking birth control pills (for my skin you perverts, we all know that I’m a pure little diamond and I’m waiting till marriage) and DUUUUUUUUDE, I’m on such a hardcore emotional roller coaster! It’s been about 2 weeks and I’ve felt all the spectrum of human emotions including extreme paranoia (Try to find some old posts on fb, just try, I dare ya), happiness and depression (yep a day apart from each other).

I suspect that everyone secretly hates me and talks shit behind my back, life just turned “The Bold and the Beautiful”, Joel hasn’t properly spoken to me in a month, he must not wanna be friends with me anymore, although I know that’s complete bullshit, he’s just busy being himself and not giving a shit. But Claire might be going to Belgium for 5 months, Sophie is moving back to Borgå, we’re not going to Pampas Nationaldag and I just don’t know what is happening, I feel like my life is about to change and I really don’t like this, okay? Also can everyone stop being healthy AF for a moment and instagram their goddamn 3 pizza slices instead of the green smoothie they just made or the gym tank they just bought, it’s stressing me out.

Story 4: Once upon a time I also kinda did a thing I shouldn’t have done last week, but it was so hilarious tho! I hope there won’t be any consequences, but lemme tell ya what I found out about myself (if you haven’t noticed, this is a very ME ME ME kinda post):

I am so bloody awesome, I don’t care what some ppl think, I am AMAZING at amusing myself, I literally sometimes wake myself up in bed and start laughing, cause I’m so damn funny (Sophie can confirm and she’s sick of it), if you can make me laugh as hard as I can make me laugh, you get +100 brownie points!

A part of the story is also how actually lately I’ve started to care what people think about me A LOT. I’ve never been rude to strangers unless they deserve it, but now I’m extra nice and I’m trying to compensate for a lot of other things that I think are wrong with me, including the ever so present need to be in your face 24/7. Sorreeeeeeh!

But bottom line is that I still need a hug, 7 shots of vodka, a calendar and a few motivational speeches for the next few months, cause shit is real out there.

//Stef – cheers


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